Awkward Man Out
by Asura Mori
Summary: Commissioned by xxcozzybearxx. Chris goes back to 'get' his wallet, only to overhear Wesker reciting... poetry? Hilarity and yaoi ensue. Rated M. Wesker/Chris.


_Asura: Well, well, look who's risen from the dead... (looks around) ... Oh, I guess it's me... Damn... (pulls out handgun) Well, might as do the Resident Evil world a favor and take myself out, being a zombie and all... Naw, I'm just playing. :3 _

_How you all been? I know I've been busy, but I still feel like that doesn't explain my long absence. :( Sorry guys, life's been sucking lately. Between school and work, I have almost no free time at all... Wait, that's kind of a lie... damn... hm... Anyway... here's a new Resident Evil one-shot, requested by (pause for effect)... **xxcozzybearxx**!_

_Asura Mori is proud to present AWKWARD MAN OUT! Enjoy. :3_

_Warning: This is a yaoi, meaning guy on guy sex with little or not plot. You have been warned. Now go and enjoy the senseless smut. Oh, and slight Wesker OOCness. Oh wells._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Resident Evil franchise in any way, besides actually having purchased the games and playing/watching them. If I did own them, Wesker and Chris would be together. End of argument. :P_

Awkward Man Out

By: Asura Mori

Albert Wesker was not good with people, especially with his own subordinates. Sure, he could give them orders and act like a good superior, but after hours? Oh, he avoided them like the plague. He just could not do the socializing thing... especially with Christopher Redfield.

Out of all of his subordinates, Christopher was the hardest to be around. The man was hardheaded, didn't take orders well, and had a strange sense of justice. But he was also extremely loyal, brave in tough situations, and made friends easily. The type of person Wesker hated the most, but found strangely attractive in one such as Christopher...

However, that was one of the things that made the gunman dangerous. He could not afford to be near Christopher after hours, not even for one minute. If such an event ever did take place... Wesker's world would end. Because it would only take a few minutes for Christopher to learn his secret...

He shuddered at the very thought, propping his feet up on his desk while he ate a bowl of ramen. He was alone, of course, while his team was out and about playing cards or some other thing during their lunch hour. Part of him wished he could just go out there and join them, but he knew without a doubt the stares he'd receive from his team. He was aloof and such an act would make them wonder, would make them watch him. He hated people watching him most of all. It made him feel confined, like he was being monitored. It made the hair on his neck rise everytime Chris so much as looked his way.

He hated being judged. Better to eat alone, away from people, than to be out there for all to see...

He'd rather be alone anyway... at least that's what he kept telling himself.

-0-0-0-0-

Christopher Redfield, known to his friends as Chris, stopped right in the middle of his story and let out a sigh of frustration. The rest of the group turned to look at him, wondering at the pause, and he offered them a shrug. "I left my wallet back at the office." He explained, his blue eyes glittering. In truth, his wallet was in his back pocket, tucked safely away from prying hands. Jill let out a sigh, knowing very well what her partner was up to, but just shooed him away.

"If you find it, come join us at the usual place Redfield. We won't wait up for you." She said,, waving him on. Chris gave her a wink and a smile before dashing back to the office, leaving a small dust trail in his wake.

"That boy is gonna get himself killed." Barry grumbled, shaking his head. Jill just laughed. "He can't help himself. He's tired of the captain hiding out in his office all day. I think it'll be fun. Besides, Chris isn't one to give up until he's gotten what he wants. Wesker will have no choice but to listen."

Barry just shook his head. "I'm telling you. Something's gonna happen, something unexpected. Something always happens. Just watch." Jill just shook her head and ran to catch up with the rest of the team. It was chow time.

-0-0-0-0-

Chris snuck back into the office as quietly as possible, flinching every time he so much as made a noise. The captain never came running out of his office to see what the noise was, however, instilling the gunman with a little more confidence. He tiptoed over to the door that led into Wesker's private room, then placed his ear to the doorway. Forcing himself to be as quiet as possible, Chris strained to hear what it was Wesker was saying, then had to force himself not to giggle.

"Your eyes like a summer sky, I dream of you just as sweetly. Your lips like roses, I would taste their sweet honey and know what heaven is like..." Wesker's deep voice rang out softly, reciting the words as if to a lover. Chris had to clamp his hand over his mouth to stop a snort from escaping him. Wesker was in love with some girl, apparently! This was the big secret the captain had been hiding from them... and it also explained his reclusiveness. Jill was gonna freaking love this...

He leaned closer into the door, not realizing that the door was partially open as he did so. He lost his balance and slammed into the door, falling to the floor as the door was propelled towards the inner wall. He landed with a loud thump and everything grew quiet, except for Chris' pounding heart. He was so freaking dead...

"... Redfield. What the hell are you doing eavesdropping outside of my office?" Wesker's voice was dark with fury, so much so that Chris was afraid to look up from his place on the floor. He had to think up something, quick. Damn Barry for being right all the damn time. Something always went wrong...

"I was... um... I came to look for my wallet? I thought it might be... in... here..." His voice got quieter with each word, hearing footsteps approaching him. Oh god, he was going to die! Wesker was going to kill him...

"Why would your wallet be in here, of all places? Especially when I know for a fact that it's in your back pocket at all times?"

Yep, he was dead. He was soooooo freaking dead. "I... um... shit..." Chris muttered, trailing off as he still refused to look at Wesker, who he knew was glaring death at him. God, if looks could kill... "I just... um... Look," he finally looked up, but then quickly looked away. He just couldn't look the man in the face right now, especially after hearing his attempt at poetry – really, REALLY, bad poetry at that.

"Me and the guys... We just... wonder what you're up to... all the time... in your office..." Chris muttered, glancing at the far wall so that he wouldn't have to look at his captain. His face was red as hell, he knew, but he couldn't do anything about it.

_'Apparently he recites poetry... Jill's gonna love it... If I ever make it out of here alive to tell her...'_

A sobering thought, one that made him finally look up at his captain. Wesker's face was unreadable, his eyes hidden by his trademark shades. What was he thinking, looking down at his subordinate? Chris could feel the icy hand of death at his neck. He was gonna die... and no one would ever know what had happened... And Jill and Barry would laugh at it, knowing that he'd gotten what he'd deserved...

"I'm sorry!" He finally yelled, throwing himself at Wesker's feet in a bow. "We just wanted to know!"

Wesker was more than a little thrown off at this overzealous display of apologizing. Honestly, the only thing he was worried about was if Chris had overheard him earlier... The gunman, of course, couldn't have known who the poetry was really about, but still... If he had heard...

"So, um..." The blonde glanced down at his subordinate, who was peeking his head out from underneath brunette bangs, "Who is it?"

"Who is... who?" Wesker asked, feeling his mouth go dry. "The person... who the poetry is for...?" Chris asked, his voice getting small as Wesker's whole posture stiffened. Ah, hell... he shouldn't have said anything... He whimpered as his captain dropped down to glare at him over his shades. Wesker grabbed Chris by the front of his shirt and dragged him up so that they were looking at each face to face.

It all came down to this... How was he supposed to answer...? Wesker's mind was in turmoil... So he did the only thing he could think of...

"Who do you think it was about, Redfield?" He purred, bringing both of their mouths together in a harsh kiss.

And all Chris could think was...

HUH?

Needless to say, Chris was more than a little slow to respond to the fact that his superior was _kissing him._ When it finally hit, he started to struggle. "W-wait a minute... captain..." He gasped, trying to escape Wesker's suddenly very strong grip, "I... This isn't... huh?"

Wesker finally withdrew, licking his lips. "So, now you know." He chuckled, smoothing back his hair with one hand, then removing his sunglasses. He leaned back in and licked Chris' ear, drawing the lower part of the lobe into his mouth and nibbling on it. "Christopher." He breathed, "You don't know how long I've been waiting..."

Again, Chris' mind shut down. He just couldn't process what was happening here... Wesker was... touching him... and the hand kept going lower and lower and...

"WHOA! Hold that thought!" Chris yelped, grabbing at the hand that was rubbing against his crotch. Wesker looked up at him in confusion. "You don't want to?" He asked quietly, fury igniting in his gaze. Chris paused – more like froze – and tried to think of an answer. While it was true he admired the man, he didn't know if his feelings were like _that_ for his captain... But apparently, Wesker did feel that way for him...

"I'm just a little... confused?" He finally said, opting for honesty. The blonde cocked his head to the side, as if thinking. "Confused about... what?" Wesker rumbled, leaning in to kiss Chris lightly on the lips, "I thought it was quite simple. I just admitted that I have feelings for you. Your response is...?"

"Uhhhhh... ummm... heh?"

"... Was that even English?"

"..." Chris looked away, seriously trying to think now. Wesker was in love with him? Well, it wasn't like he disliked the man... "I like you too?" He hoped that was the right answer...

Apparently it was. Wesker smiled and leaned in to lightly kiss the gunman again. "Good boy. Now you get your reward..." Chris smiled. A reward didn't sound too bad... "... WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TOUCHING?"

"You like me, right? Isn't this what two men who 'like' each other do?" Chris started to reply, but was cut off when Wesker kissed him harshly. He tried to push at the man, but ended up losing his train of thought when his captain slid his hand down his pants. The blonde's fingers softly caressed the tip of his member, then slowly worked their way up and down his shaft. Soon it was impossible for the brunette to even think about pushing his captain off of him. It just felt too damn good...

With his other hand, Wesker began to slide down his own pants. Of course, he wasn't wearing any underwear beneath his jeans. He soon did the same to Chris' pants, until both of them had their jeans pooled around their ankles. The two men began to grind against each other, their members straining against the other's. Chris' hand joined in on the fun, stroking Wesker's cock, as the blonde continued to do the same to the gunman.

When they were nearing completion, Wesker leaned in so that his mouth was directly against Chris' ear. "Your eyes like a summer sky, I dream of you just as sweetly. Your lips like roses, I would taste their sweet honey and know what heaven is like..."

Chris couldn't help it; he laughed, just as both men came. The two lay panting against each other, holding the other up.

"Why... are you laughing?" Wesker finally panted, glaring at the gunman. Chris smiled weakly, leaning his forehead against the other's shoulder. "Because... dude, you really suck at poetry." Wesker said nothing, just stared at the far wall. Chris, on the other hand, was just now comprehending what had happened.

"Oh..."

Wesker looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"... We, um... we just..."

"I don't understand the question."

"... Nothing..." Chris blushed heavily as his thoughts finally came full circle. He and Wesker had just... basically jacked each other off... Did that mean... they were going out...? He didn't remember giving his consensus for this... He pulled back and looked at Wesker, starting when he realized that the blonde's face was slightly red.

Wesker was... blushing...?

Chris smiled and pecked Wesker on the lips. Maybe it was okay... Then he groaned, making Wesker look at him with worry.

Jill was gonna have a hayday with this...

-0-0-0-0-

"That boy is dead. How much you wanna bet?" Barry muttered, tossing his cards down and taking a drag off of his cigarette.

Jill just smiled quietly. "Oh, I don't think so... I think Chris just realized how awkward our captain really is in social situations."

Barry just looked at her in confusion as she started chuckling, then shrugged and went back to his cigarette. He would never understand women...

_~Fin~_

_Asura: Honestly, I got about halfway through this and started laughing my ass off. I just couldn't take it seriously. Heheh. Well, how does everyone like awkward, poetry-spewing Wesker? I know it wasn't a full-on sex fic like I usually write, but I thought this was a bit more sweet. :) Anyway, read and review._

_P.S. - Also, if you are ever wondering about the state of a story that I'm writing, check out my profile. There you will see if the story is completed, a work in progress, or on hiatus. Danke, ich liebe dich to all!_

_Btw, for those of you who like my fics, you should also check out my sister's. Her name is TYRANN, formerly known as Shiro Mori. Some of her fics used to be on my page, but were recently moved to hers. One of them, ECLIPSE POINT, was especially well known. So, enjoy. :D_


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